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(1 Smile | Make me smile)

[31 Mar 2004|02:21pm]
[ mood | bored ]

10 bands you've been listening a lot to lately:
1. smashing pumpkins
2. deftones
3. cradle of filth
4. tori amos
5. slayer
6. Hed. P.E.
7. Glassjaw
8. Incubus
9. Ill Nino
10. Orgy...dont ask

09 things you look forward to:
1. college
2. graduation
3. prom!!!
4. summer mother fucker
5. getting a new car
6. swimming
7. chilling on the last day of school
8. last day of school
9. after prom...heh

8 things you like to wear:
1. jeans
2. etnies
3. make up
4. hoodies
5. sandals
6. you=)
7. capris
8. tank tops

07 things that annoy you:
1. people w/ ebt cards
2. annoying old men that smell
3. Crazy Paul
4. Sarah Johnson
5. Algebra
6. People that calls themselves dykes but will never go near the box...what the fuck is that?
7. Damien and Rob and Wilber and Pat....

06 things you say most days:
1. YeAhhh
2. Fuck...Fuck....
3. OkAy
4. You got a lighter?
5. HEY!
6. paper or plastic?

05 things you do everyday:
1. Wake up
2. Eat
3. complain
4. listen to music
5. talk

04 people you want to spend more time with:
1. Tina
2. Vana
3. Richard
4. Amanda

03 movies you could watch over and over again:
1. Blow
2. SLC Punk
3. Alice in Wonderland

02 of your favorite songs at the moment:
1. Texas-Primer 55
2. Bored-Deftones

01 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
1. My doggies Eli! =)

yeah so im sooooooooooo bored. WOW. today was pay day me tina and amanda went and got our checks went to mcdonalds went back to school...lifting weights...now im home and alone. i think im gonna go to bed...might hang out w/ richard later..well after 7 anyways. ughhhhhhh I cant think.

(3 Smiles | Make me smile)

[27 Mar 2004|12:38pm]
Last night was fun. I went to Phils for a little while and saw everyone. Saw Richard =). Umm then Aly, joe and I went to Club Hell. Joe forgot lost his lisense at Phils so Phil if you read this I think his lisense is in your couch...can you look? Ill probably see you today anyways...but he had to go all the way back to Taunton cuz they wont let u in without ID of some sort...so me and Aly stayed and danced. I hate dancing though I realized...Aly had fun though..I guess its just not my thing. I met these twins named Olivia and Megan and Megan ended up getting really drunk...and pole/cage dancing all night. So I chilled with her sister and watched her all night lol. I felt so bad. They go to Jonhson and Wales and if the security finds out your drunk you automatically have to go to AA meeting so her sis was wicked scared. But other then that fun thats all I did there. I actually fell asleep on a couch lol and some girl came over and asked me if I was ok...ha...I wasnt even drinking. I was just tired..she thought I passed out or somthing. But ummm hmmm I wish I had stayed at phils...it would have been more fun. I like being around friends better then strangers but hey whatever its all good. Well I have to work 3-9 today and I dont even think I have a ride..this sucks. I need a coffe desperately ahhhhh....well I gotta go get dressed.

God Bless.


(4 Smiles | Make me smile)

[26 Mar 2004|02:16pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Yeah..so Havnt written in a long time. Been busy. Im going to college! BCC for now then Bridgewater State. Starting a new job soon to. Ill still be working at Trucchis though. UMMM lets see Im getting my Prom dress professionally made..so awesome...I cant wait. Im probably gonna go for black and pink...definately my colors. I got up the guts and asked Richard to go with me and he surprisingly said yes. =) I think we'll have a lot of fun together =). Ummm graduation is June 6th...prom is June 2nd. Hmmmm man so much is going on ahhhhhhh...Dont even no what to say...well im out...its soooooo nice out yey.

God Bless


(2 Smiles | Make me smile)

2003 survey [23 Dec 2003|09:03pm]
[ mood | artistic ]

1. What did you do in 2003 that you'd never done
Oxycotin and a few other things we shall never metion again...ever....

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will
you make more for next year?
No and no.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, Gail and Theresa

4. Did anyone close to you die?
no not really

5. What countries did you visit?

6. What would you like to have in 2004 that you lacked
in 2003?
grow up...damn...

7. What date from 2003 will remain etched upon your
memory, and why?
August 3rd 2003, because I almost died.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Leaving my past.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Doing drugs everyday....messing up Juionr Year.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My tix to Summer Sanatarium....that was so much fun. +Water Boy+ for life

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Mike and Eric and Sarah...my Dad as well

14. Where did most of your money go?
Drugs. Gas. My insurance and clothes...mostly drugs

15. What did you get really, really, really excited
Seeing the Deftones.

16. What song will always remind you of 2003?
o god so many...all Deftones new Cd...In Da Club....yep...Like a Stone

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier
ii. thinner or fatter? fatter
iii. richer or poorer? richer

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Change......a lil more ummm...yeah

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinate, give up, drugs, sex
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
With Frank Aly and Ma Famille!!!

22. Did you fall in love in 2003?

23. How many one-night stands?
umm 4

24. What was your favorite TV program?
umm Sex and the City

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this
time last year?
o yes

26. What was the best book you read?
ummm No idea....

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Primer 55

28. What did you want and get?
Love, freedom, some brains

29. What did you want and not get? alot of things but fuck it cant have it all

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Lord Of The Rings ...Return of the King....of coarse

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were
I turned 18..I went to Plum Island w/ Britt and my Aunt. Lyn Lyn lol Britt....o god that was a crazy day. Beautiful though.

32. What one thing would have made your year
immeasurably more satisfying?
I wish I had lost 50 pounds.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion
concept in 2003?
Everything I've worn before...a little less fired up though...stopped smoking pot...what can I say....

34. What kept you sane?
Coffe and Ciggerettes.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the
Gwen Stefani and Jude Law

36. What political issue stirred you the most? Micheal Jackson. Im always up for discussing him.

37. Who did you miss?
Brittany =(

38. Who was the best new person you met?

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in
2003: Dont do drugs.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
=Like A Stone= Audio Slave

On a cobweb afternoon
In a room of emptiness
By a freeway I confess
I was lost in the pages
Of a book full of death
Reading how we'll die alone
And if we're good we'll lay to rest
Anywhere we want to go

In your house I long to be
Room by room patiently
I'll wait for you there
Like a stone I'll wait for you there

On my deathbed I will pray
To the gods and the angels
Like a pagan to anyone
Who will take me to heaven
To a place I recall
I was there so long ago
The sky was bruised
The win was bled
And there you led me on

And on I read
Until the day was gone
And I sat in regret
Of all the things I've done
For all that I've blessed
And all that I've wronged
In dreams until my death
I will wonder on

(1 Smile | Make me smile)

[08 Dec 2003|07:48pm]
no school again...fuck shit up.

(Make me smile)

old school type o negative [05 Dec 2003|04:26pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

*White Slavery

I make a call
So far to fall
Restless craving

The summer snow
But it's not cold
Once it's tested
Thus infected

I've lost myself again
I've lost myself again
It's a nightmare
But it's clear
It will end
But when?

The break of day
I rot away
With every breath
I pray for death

I've lost myself again
I've lost myself again
It's a nightmare
But it's clear
It will end
But when?

Let me say pepsi generation
A few lines of misinformation
Watch your money flow away oh so quick
To kill yourself properly coke is it

*Summer Breeze

See the curtains hanging' in the window.
In the evening on a friday night.
A little light-a-shinin' through the window.
Lets me know everything's all right.

Summer breeze makes me feel fine.
Blowin' through the jasmine in my mind.

See the paper layin' on the sidewalk.
A little music from the house next door.
So I walk on up to the door step.
Through the screen and across the floor.

Sweet days of summer - the jasmine's in bloom.
July is dressed up and playing her tune.
And I come home from a hard day's work.
And you're waiting there.
Not a care in the world.

See the smile awaitin in the kitchen.
Food cookin' and the plates for two.
Feel the arms that reach out to hold me.
In the evening when the day is through

2 of the best songs ever.......yep. and Yes I would like to have sex w/ Peter Steele. Yes I would.

(Make me smile)

o yeah [27 Nov 2003|12:01am]
[ mood | drunk ]

Tonight was uneventful. Worked. Came home. Did a pickup w/ Joe for Colie and Eric. Then came home. Aly stayed for awhile. I watched Bruce Almighty and yeah here I am, after a few Buds....yep I have no life. Tomorrow is Turkey Day though and Im ecxited. I have an excuse to eat all day. I miss Frank so much. Ehhh. What can you do? Well yeah Im going to go to bed and dream of a better life lol. Not realllly...

Peace Love and Chicken Grease.

(2 Smiles | Make me smile)

[26 Nov 2003|12:19pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

....yeah havnt been around for a few years....so I figured Id write. Lifes the same I guess. Still at Trucchis, still boring. What can you do?

Hi Vana =)

(1 Smile | Make me smile)

Here. Your Free. [28 Aug 2002|11:59pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

Well my life is pretty uneventful and boring and whatnot. But Im bored and Im going to write. So I apoligize. Umm well lets see. Havnt really done much this week but work, shop and hang around the house. Angel came over the other day we chilled, smoked, listened to music and talked about how people are fucking retarded. Umm then I went to work for the first time in like 10 days I beleive. Wasnt to bad. I get my raise next week I beleive. Umm my first day as "front end manager" is tomorrow, 4-9. So I get to dress up. No Truchis shirt. Woohoo. Umm went to Kmart Ames all the ghetto places again with my Mom and ended getting alot of good deals.

In K-Mart
-blue skirt
-grey zip-up hoddie
-black shirt w/ a lace tie up
-star belt

In Ames
-2 pairs of really cute jeans
-khaki skirt

Hmm then Mike came over after I got back. Loren ended up picking us up and me her mike and her bf all went out to eat. Went to the Mandarin lol. Good times. Umm saw fucking Billy Emerson and Eddie Colby lol. But anywaysss. Umm went back to Ames and Mike got me the Marilyn Monroe movie I wanted. Which is always good.

Well my moms taking me out shoe shopping tomorrow. Woohoo. Not like I need anymore lol. But whatever. Im definately hittinh Hot Topic because all of there shoes are 25% off, which is always a good thing. Plus I need some fish nets, and shoes for tomorrow. Damn it I hate being broke. I wish I got a check this week. =(. O well.

Well Im going to bed.

(4 Smiles | Make me smile)

[27 Aug 2002|11:26pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

No More Tears

The light in the window is a crack in the sky
A stairway to darkness in the blink of an eye
A levee of tears to learn she'll never be coming back
The man in the dark will bring another attack

Your momma told you that you're not supposed to talk to strangers
Look in the mirror tell me do you think your life's in danger here, ya

No more tears

Another day passes as the night closes in
The red light goes on to say it's time to begin

I see the man around the corner waiting, does he see me?
I close my eyes and wait to hear the sound of someone screaming here

No more tears

So now that it's over can't we just say goodbye?
I'd like to move on and make the most of the night
Maybe a kiss before I leave you this way
Your lips are so cold I don't know what else to say

I never wanted it to end this way my love my darling
Believe me when I say to you in love I think I'm falling here

No more tears

(Make me smile)

[25 Aug 2002|01:01pm]
[ mood | aggravated ]

God damn it. My nose is infected and its pissssssing me off. Man I have to work again tomorrow. Sniff sniff. But Im getting trained this week. So whatever. School soon. And Locobazooka. Cant fucking wait, its gonna be great this year. BLS, Flaw, Nonpoint. For starters anyways, and thats not to fucking shabby. So yeah. Well I got to go get ready. I look like shit.


(1 Smile | Make me smile)

[24 Aug 2002|06:12am]
[ mood | calm ]

Well its 6:14. I cant sleep for the FUCK of me, so I figured Id write. For some reason now I just cant build up the energy to even write in this thing. But O well. I will. Hmm well Salmita and Angel picked me up around 12:30ish yesterday. We went out bargain shopping. (Ames and K-Mart) need I say more? I actually got some nice things though. Since Ames is going out of buisness I got a pair of jeans cute underwear and 2 pairs of socks, for 10$, which isnt too bad. Then we went to K-Mart and I ended up finding 2 really cute skirts and two shirts for under 40$. So then we went out to eat, fucking Taco Bell. Gross, but I was starving. Then we dropped off Angels Mom, then we all went to the lake and chilled for awhile. Then went back to Angels, went to Brittanys, but she was already gone, then went to Jennys house for a bit. We walked around for awhile, thought we saw Super Goth, lol, but we didnt. Went back to his house, he did my make up and hair. So I actually looked semi decent for once ha. I havnt worn make up in like a week, which is definately NOT a usual thing for me. Umm then we ended up going to the mall. *shivers* DAMNNN, that place is so PATHETIC now. Wow, seriously I really dont even think I would work in that place. Now I really feel for everyone who works there and had to put up w/ me and all of my friends when we were mall rats because damn those kids there are soooooooo fucking annoying. Ive seriously never seen that many posers in one secluded area before. So I walked around by myself for a while trying to find Mike, saw people, shot the shit, umm found Mike. =). Umm I ended getting some things in Hot Topic w/ my gift card. A hoodie, underwear and some fairy clips, which were only a buck. Woohoo. So after that I found Ali. Thank god. So me,her, Mike, Mike and her friend Angela all left. First we went to Truchis, to say Happy B-day to Loren, the poor girl had to work on her damn B-day thats how fucked Truchis is. haha. Then we left, went and got ice-cream, then came back w/ a big sundae w/ candles on it for Loren. heh. She was happy. I wish I remembered to get her a present god damn it! But I will. Phil was all pissed at me too, saying I said shit to Amanda haha. Havnt even talked to the girl in monthsssssssss, so someones tripping. Hardcore. But whatever. Umm yeah so we left, I checked my hours I have work like everyday next week, but thats a good thing, I need the money REALLY bad. haha. Hmm yeah so Mike and Ali dropped Mike and I off at my house, we smoked, watched Memento, which I could not understand for the LIFE of me ha. But yeah whatever. He left around 11:30, I went to bed. And now Im here at 6:33 in the morning writing in my journal. Damn Im gueer. I seriously cant beleive Summers almost over, and my vacation is too. (meaning from my work that is), it went by to fast. I ended getting to go to Salem and P-Town, which was cool. I wanted to stay in P-Town longer though, but o well.

Well Mike and I are going to my little brothers b-day party today at my Dads. Then tomorrow is my mothers b-day, and our 3 month. heh. So Im going over my aunts to eat, I hope I can bring Mike, because I really dont feel like going by myself, but whatever. Hmm well yeah Im going to try to go back to bed, or clean my room or somthing, it definately needs it. Later.

~Love you Mike.

(Make me smile)

HMmmm [23 Aug 2002|11:55am]
[ mood | curious ]

Hmm well yeah I havnt updated in a LONG time. Lets see. Alot has gone on.

Lets go from my birthday on.

The 16th. TOOL-o fuck yeah. Well it was my bday and all, so I had a great day, got a whole buncha cards in the mail, my dad came by and gave me money, and he sent me flowers in the mail =). They were so pretty. My mom and Tommy got me a NICE Cd player too, woohoo. So I listened to that as I got all dressed up and whatnot. Then around 4 I went on my road lesson. Woohoo. Not. Eric is MEAN! Fuck head. Came home, Laura Luke Peter and Mike were all here. Mike brought me in and gave me my presents. He got me so much stuff heh.
Tool Boxset
Jerry Cantrell *Degregation Trip*
A fire flame CD holder
A Bettie Page poster
A Incubus poster
A Weezer Baby Doll
and some other stuff heh........

Then we went to Tool. So much fun. Heh. We had fun.....then we came home and Mike slept over. =).....he told me to go up in my room and get his sweatshirt, so I did...and there she was, my favorite Living Dead Doll, Tragedy. Awww shes so pretty.I was like awwwwwwwwwww.heh. Hmmm then we went to bed, got up...he went to work...I went back to bed. Then got up, got ready, looked ugllllyyy. Umm then went out and got booze and whatnot. Came home, had the party. lol. A good amount of peeps showed up. Got drunk high whatever. It was all good. Laura Mike MB Britt Jess and Loren slept over. Damn Loren was fuckedddddddddddddd up haha. Had fun none the less though. Mike got trashed. But whatever. HMmmmmmm...so yeah.....it was a good party.

Ummm yeah so Im sick of writing lol. I have to go shopping today. I need clothes. Im going over Angels in a bit, chill there for the day, then going out w/ him meeting up w/ Mike, going out to eat, then to the movies. heh.

So yeah. Bye.

(1 Smile | Make me smile)

Sevendust [22 Aug 2002|03:07pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

Answer these using only the lyrics of just ONE band:
Band: Sevendust

1. Are you male or female?
She's still tired she wants to go home
I can't let her get away
I promise one day she'll pray for me to forgive me for all I've done
"It ain't easy" that's what she said. * Face*

2. Describe yourself:

Bleeding soul - I feel I'm dying
I persist - I persist - I think I'm hiding
I've lost my soul - No happiness

Are you ashamed -
of what you've become
You call my name ---
You call my name --- I try to run
I've lost my soul --- no happiness
What did you say? (what did you say)
I don't understand
Why I feel this way (why do I feel so.....)

Bleeding soul - I feel I'm dying
I persist - I persist - I think I'm hiding
I've lost my soul - for happiness

What did you say? (what did you say)
I don't understand
Why I feel this way I FEEL SO...
What did you say?
I don't understand
Why I feel this way (why do I feel so.....)
What did you say? (what did you say)
I don't understand
Why I feel this way *Feel So*

3. Describe your friends:

Time can take everything that
surrounds you
You can break from everything that
confines you
Some to trust - look in my eyes
I will guide you
So I say

Living to love could remind you

You can't know follow

What I say to you take with you today
The pressure it brings
Alone alive to know
What I say to you take with you today
You can't take the pain
To live to know

You can't fake
Everything that reminds you
How you feel
Time will tell what's inside you

You can't know follow *Follow*

4. How do your friends feel about you?
No idea

5. Describe your family:
Wreckage - My mind
Insecure - All the time
Frustrated - OUR SIMPLE LIFE
No one listens - EVERYONE LIES
Who said "HOME IS WhERE YOU HIDE?" *Home*

6. How do you feel about yourself?
When I'm alone I stare at nothingness
Painful silence
Painful silence

Bring me a light
Make my life worth something more
Show me a light
Bring me a light *Waffle*

7. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend?
I wish you weren't so beautiful in my eyes
(crawling down your spine to make you stay)
I wish you weren't so beautiful in my eyes
(covering your eyes to make you pay) *Licking Cream*

8. What would you rather be doing?

Life is changing, i can't go on without you,
Rearranging, i will be strong, i'll stand by you,

You we're fighting, everyday, so hard to hide the pain,
I know you never said good bye, i have so much left to say,

One last song, given to an angel's son, as soon as you were gone,
as soon as you were gone...

I have a new life now, she lives through you, what can i do,
I feel so alone now, i'll pray for you, we still love you,

You we're fighting, everyday, so hard to hide the pain,
I know you never said good bye, i have so much left to say...

One last song given to an angel's son, as soon as you were gone,
as soon as you were gone,

One last song... I CAN"T BELEIVE YOU'RE GONE... given to an angel's son, I CAN'T BELEIVE... as soon as you were gone, as soon as you were gone, gone, gone.........

*Angels son*

9. Describe where you live.

Cant describe that shit man.

10. Describe how you love.
Mike knows. =)

11. Share a few words of wisdom.

Step on my disease -
so nice to see me bleed
Step on my disease - I cannot contain

SLOW IT DOWN...I'M SO winded
I've fallen down...again

Taste numb of my teeth
Forever makes me...sick!!

Step on my disease-
so nice to see me bleed
Step on my disease - I cannot contain

SLOW IT DOWN...I'M so winded
I've fallen down...again
I follow the walking dead

Now that you found out -
somewhat about me
I wonder how long it will be before
you leave

SLOW IT DOWN - I'M SO winded -
I've fallen down...again
SLOW IT DOWN - I'M so winded -
So end it
I've fallen down...again
I follow the walking dead


(1 Smile | Make me smile)

WOW [17 Aug 2002|10:41am]
TOOL fucking owned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best show Ive been to ever. O but yes.

Ill write more later.

Party tonight woohoo.

(4 Smiles | Make me smile)

yey [16 Aug 2002|01:40pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Well todays my B-day WOOHOO! Finally fucking 17 lol. Anyways. TOOL is tonight!!!! yey, Marybeth heh. Hope I see you =). Umm well lets see things have been going good. I have my first road lesson today at 4, then from there I come home, meet up w/ Mike Laura and Luke and where out of here. Heh. Then tomorrow Im most likly going w/ Jess to Providence Place in the morning, then coming home and having my party. I hope everyone comes, I cant wait to see everyone.

Well Im out.

Later All.

(Make me smile)

The Red [14 Aug 2002|12:56am]
Well havnt written in awhile.

Nope not at all.

Lets see Summers been getting better. Havnt smoked in a month! Woo Hooo. Smoked w/ Mike during Ozzy and that was it. Ummm lets see my nose healed! Yey. Lalalala. Hmmmm, cant think of anything to write about. Which is pissing me off. Well I saw Jerry Cantrell last week w/ Britt. Good show but damn, so many gross perverted old men. God damn. Umm my birthday is friday woohoo, seeing Tool *hopfully* w/ Laura Luke and Mike. But I called Laura the other day and she said she lost the tickets and I dont know if shes kidding or not, but either way I better get my ass there, god damn it. But anyways, Im having a little party Saturday night. So come if I like you. heh. Well yeah so thats all thats going on. Mike and I are doing great to on a good note. Woohoo, I love him, hes so cute. Heh.


(3 Smiles | Make me smile)

[14 Apr 2002|03:45pm]
Ok my journals friends only now. So you have to be logged in and be on my friends list to see it, so just IM me if your not.


(2 Smiles | Make me smile)

sad day [13 Apr 2002|11:37pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Well Im just gonna make my journal friends only, so certain people wont read it, so if ur interested just tell me and ill put you on my list.

Chilled out tonight, pretty fun..pretty boring. I dunno.

Craig Parsons died yesterday....I dunno man I feel like shit, that just fucking sucks...Im going to the wake and funeral....and buying some flowers for Brian,I hopes he ok.


Today, everything was fine.
Until roundabout, quarter to nine,
I suddenly found myself in a bind.
Was it something I said?
Something I read and manifested that's getting you down.
Don't you dare come to bed with that ambiguous look in you eye,
I'd sooner sleep by an open fire and wake up fried.
Say what you will, say what you mean.
You could never offend, your dirty words come out clean.
Tomorrow, what price will I pay?
Could I make it all up to you
by serving coffee for two in bed?
Would you then gimme the time of day?
I need a map of your head, translated into English
so I can learn to not make you frown.
You'd feel better if you'd vent,
put your frustrations into four letter words
and let them out on mine, the most weathered ears in town.
Say what you will, say what you mean.
You could never offend, your dirty words come out clean.

It just shows us how fast we can be gone I guess....

(7 Smiles | Make me smile)

bye [13 Apr 2002|10:18am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

well I cant write in here anymore because some people cant seem to mind their god dam business. so good bye.

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